Staying Power

I’ve had several conversations with people regarding this topic – the ability to stay involved and work in a relationship. Two universal truths were apparent:
1. Not many people in this day and age want to work.
2. There are too many options.

Unfortunately, in our microwave society where people have become disposable, people aren’t forced to tough it out. The option to not work it out is far more appealing – because “I can have another you in a minute. Matter fact, he’ll be here in a minute. -Beyonce”

A person could have all the qualities you want in a person and you’ll dismiss them because of one slight annoyance.
This leaves me to ponder the question…
Is anyone worth anything to anybody anymore?

When you decide to like someone and pursue something further with them, do you practice sticking it out now?
If you don’t practice forgiveness and sticking it out now with a person what makes you think you’ll automatically be able to do it in a marriage?

You need to forget what the world is doing and gain your own happiness. Look around. The world is miserable. Society now is heading into the direction of disposable people. People have become disposable in friendships and in relationships.

Back in the day, you argued but you made up and continued on with life together. How can you stand the rain if your run at the first sign of drizzle? Are you a fair weather friend? Are you a fair weather lover? Is your capacity to love ONLY in ideal circumstances?

If so, you’re going to be alone or in and out of relationships for a very long time. People are human. People are flawed. They are going to hurt you. I say that all to say that even though that is the case – getting past those obstacles strengthen your character and gives you the opportunity to practice forgiveness.

I want to urge you to practice your staying power.

You can do it.

I believe in you.

~Aisha Antoinette

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Confessions of a Single Wife – How to Date Without Marrying

Listen. I have a problem. I’m a wife.

A single wife.

You heard right.
I am a wife without a husband.
This means – you treat your “person,” the one you are dating, like your husband -when they are not.
I am not the only one guilty of this. Many women are.
I’m here to help. Follow me…

1. Boundaries – Are AWESOME. Use them. You do not have to go above and beyond ALL THE TIME. It’s just how you are, I know, but calm down.

2. Availability – No. You are NOT available ALL THE TIME. Remember that life you enjoyed before them? (Because you SHOULD have been enjoying life while you were actively waiting for your person, right? Right??? Ok. Good) You still have it. You still love to read, listen to music, hang out with your girlfriends, art classes, lounges and lazy Rom-Com binge sessions in your pajamas all day. Just a reminder. You’re welcome.

3. You can NOT MOVE IN. That’s all.

4. You do not have to give an account of your whereabouts unless you want to.

5. Do NOT make life-shaping and life-changing decisions based on your person. You’re just dating.

**Side note regarding above mentioned sacrifice:

“Sarah Whitton, a psychologist and researcher at Boston University, found that men and women view it differently. “The gender differences are the big story here,” she says about the research she’s done on this topic. “The main thing our study shows is that women tend to act like they are married — making sacrifices like spending Christmas with their boyfriend’s family and moving across the country for someone who may not yet have fully committed to them.”

Whitton says that while women make these big sacrifices thinking that it means the relationship is headed toward marriage, men often don’t see it that way at all.”
-Hanna Seligson

Rule of thumb and one of my favorite sayings:
Don’t make someone a priority when you’re only an option.
That was number six by the way.

7. Boundaries – YEP! AGAIN! You’re not picking up all his dry cleaning, ironing and washing his clothes, cleaning the apartment thoroughly…NO! Slow down, girl. You’re not his wife. Just a reminder. You’re welcome.

8. You’re amazing – just thought I’d let ya know. 🙂

9. Take your time – there is beauty in the process. The development and cultivation of a lasting bond is priceless. You’ll also be able to see red flags such as selfish, controlling, manipulative or ungodly like behavior.

10. Love you most of all – self explanatory!

Have an awesome night you single wife – just reel it in! 😉

~Aisha Antoinette

P.S. Although this was light-hearted, it is an issue that many women face, especially Christian women who are in preparation of becoming a wife one day. Proper time and place is key and discernment is vital. God bless you.

Misadventures in Dating: Notice of Intent

After interacting for a while and getting to know each other when do we get to the part where we verbally say what we want from the other?

Do we go on and on and on in peaceful ignorance or should we let one another know what our intentions are?

When should you know what your intentions are? Is there a time frame?

“Hanging out” for three months means what?

I swear I was born in the wrong era.

These waters are rough…

circling-sharks

Passion

Like the waves to the shore

My love for you is a rush

Of intense burning

Feeling

Needing

I never want you

To stop hearing the incessant melody

That is you and me

You’re my heart beat

You’ve got the best of me

The only part of me

I dare show

Exposed

Open

Our love is golden

Tender to the touch

I want you so much

Melt into me

Become one with me

Me and you

This can’t be undone

You make me free to release

Unleash

Everything inside of me

So true

Me and you

Ecstasy

Epiphany

Ethereally

You

And

Me

 

~Aisha Antoinette

Love Me Back to Normal #NationalPoetryMonth

This thing that I am about to ask you
it may not be fair
But
I need you to
Love me back to normal

Past the hurt and the pain
Past the loss and the gain

I need you to love me so I can love me so we can be we
Us

I need you to love me beyond everything you’ve ever thought you felt

Love beyond all reason
Throughout all four seasons
When the winds of hell are raging
When my face is aging

Love me back to normal
Love me past the sea
Underneath the willow tree
Make love to my mind
Captivate my soul
With secrets untold
Yet unfolded unto me

Love me back to normal
Not quite to sanity
But not yet touching lunacy
Love me from your beginning to
My end
Round and round
And
Back again

Love me when all roads are dead ends
Love me like you’ll never breathe again

Love me back to normal
Because I’m in between the place
In between the space
of finding you
And you finding me

We just have to be

This may not be fair to ask of you

But I need you to love me

Beyond me

Beyond my faults

Beyond my thoughts

I need to be the one that you need while needing you completely

Love me back to normal

To the place that we can be one forever

Love

Me

Back

To

Normal

I’ll see you there

~Aisha Anotinette Picott

Day 1: Start Here #31DayReset

So, I’ve decided to do this #31DayReset Challenge (AGAIN) another blogger has started on her page. The purpose of this challenge this month is to renew, refresh and reset you! You guys know I am all for that! If you join:

You’ll get exercises to help you:

  • Get out of an unsatisfying rut
  • Rediscover who you truly are
  • Develop a personal mission statement
  • Create a map for your ideal life
  • Envision and pursue your passion and purpose
  • Get clear about your goals for the future
  • Eliminate limiting beliefs that are holding you back from being happy
  • Experiment with new strategies for living a healthy life
  • Strengthen important relationships
  • Cultivate the entrepreneurial spirit within
  • …and much more!
~Happy Black Woman
Check out the Happy Black Woman’s blog to get started!
Ok, so let’s get started! Today’s exercises included choosing a reset notebook. I just bought a blank notebook with a Peacock on the front (love them) and was planning on journaling in Florida while I was on vacation but this came at the right time! God had other plans. 🙂
My Reset Journal
Secondly, we have  to choose a personal mantra!
My Personal Mantra
This is what I live by! It inspires and motivates me!
Lastly, our Theme Song!
My Theme Song
Theme Song Lyrics
I woke up this morning,
The sunshine was shining
I put on my happy face
I’m living, I’m able,
I’m breathing, I’m grateful
To put on my happy faceWoke up and realized
This world’s not
So bad after all
Looked at it through
A child’s eyes, and
I saw these beautiful
Things that you
Never think about
Like the ocean, moonlight,
Stars and clouds
It’s amazing how
We don’t appreciate
Our blessings
There’s plenty of people
Who don’t like me
But there’s ten times more
Who love me and
I love myself
Sometimes, it gets tough,
It gets tough
But I can’t give up,
Can’t give up
Just take a deep breath,
Close my eyes
Feel the love and
Give a smileI woke up this morning,
The sunshine was shining
I put on my happy face
I’m living, I’m able,
I’m breathing, I’m grateful
To put on my happy faceI woke up this morning,
The sunshine was shining
I put on my happy face
I’m living, I’m able,
I’m breathing, I’m grateful
To put on my happy face

It’s me,
I just wanna be happy
Uh, just be happy, uh,
Just be happy
Today is the day
I am willing to say
I will put all the
Past behind me,
No more enemies
Ready ’cause
(Ready ’cause)
I’m living in this world
(Lving in this world)
I wanna make a change
(Wanna make a change)
Gonna make a change
(Gonna make a change)
Put on my happy face

I woke up this morning,
The sunshine was shining
I put on my happy face
I’m living, I’m able,
I’m breathing, I’m grateful
To put on my happy face

Everything’s gonna be all right,
Everything’s gonna be okay
Everything’s gonna be all right,
Everything’s gonna be okay
Gonna be all right,
Everything’s gonna be all right
Everything’s gonna be all right,
Everything’s gonna be okay
Gonna be all right,
Everything’s gonna be all right
Everything’s gonna be all right,
Everything’s gonna be okay
Gonna be all right,
Everything’s gonna be all right
Everything’s gonna be all right,
Everything’s gonna be okayI woke up this morning,
The sunshine was shining
I put on my happy face
I’m living, I’m able,
I’m breathing, I’m grateful
To put on my happy face
This song cannot help but put me in an amazing mood! I play it almost every morning! Life is so beautiful, precious, and amazing if only we’d take the time to internalize that…
This 31 day challenge is off to an amazing start!
What’s your personal mantra? What are some words of wisdom that you live by? Do you have a theme song? If so, what is it? If not, what would it be?
Share in the comments below!
See ya tomorrow for Day 2!
~Aisha Antoinette