Confessions of a Single Wife – How to Date Without Marrying

Listen. I have a problem. I’m a wife.

A single wife.

You heard right.
I am a wife without a husband.
This means – you treat your “person,” the one you are dating, like your husband -when they are not.
I am not the only one guilty of this. Many women are.
I’m here to help. Follow me…

1. Boundaries – Are AWESOME. Use them. You do not have to go above and beyond ALL THE TIME. It’s just how you are, I know, but calm down.

2. Availability – No. You are NOT available ALL THE TIME. Remember that life you enjoyed before them? (Because you SHOULD have been enjoying life while you were actively waiting for your person, right? Right??? Ok. Good) You still have it. You still love to read, listen to music, hang out with your girlfriends, art classes, lounges and lazy Rom-Com binge sessions in your pajamas all day. Just a reminder. You’re welcome.

3. You can NOT MOVE IN. That’s all.

4. You do not have to give an account of your whereabouts unless you want to.

5. Do NOT make life-shaping and life-changing decisions based on your person. You’re just dating.

**Side note regarding above mentioned sacrifice:

“Sarah Whitton, a psychologist and researcher at Boston University, found that men and women view it differently. “The gender differences are the big story here,” she says about the research she’s done on this topic. “The main thing our study shows is that women tend to act like they are married — making sacrifices like spending Christmas with their boyfriend’s family and moving across the country for someone who may not yet have fully committed to them.”

Whitton says that while women make these big sacrifices thinking that it means the relationship is headed toward marriage, men often don’t see it that way at all.”
-Hanna Seligson

Rule of thumb and one of my favorite sayings:
Don’t make someone a priority when you’re only an option.
That was number six by the way.

7. Boundaries – YEP! AGAIN! You’re not picking up all his dry cleaning, ironing and washing his clothes, cleaning the apartment thoroughly…NO! Slow down, girl. You’re not his wife. Just a reminder. You’re welcome.

8. You’re amazing – just thought I’d let ya know. 🙂

9. Take your time – there is beauty in the process. The development and cultivation of a lasting bond is priceless. You’ll also be able to see red flags such as selfish, controlling, manipulative or ungodly like behavior.

10. Love you most of all – self explanatory!

Have an awesome night you single wife – just reel it in! 😉

~Aisha Antoinette

P.S. Although this was light-hearted, it is an issue that many women face, especially Christian women who are in preparation of becoming a wife one day. Proper time and place is key and discernment is vital. God bless you.


Misadventures in Dating: Notice of Intent

After interacting for a while and getting to know each other when do we get to the part where we verbally say what we want from the other?

Do we go on and on and on in peaceful ignorance or should we let one another know what our intentions are?

When should you know what your intentions are? Is there a time frame?

“Hanging out” for three months means what?

I swear I was born in the wrong era.

These waters are rough…